roastbeef and a ROARING OVATION!

Last night I went out with My Girlfriends for drinks.  I had a delicious Apple Sangria and was enjoying some entertainment – having a blast with My Babes =)

Then a nasty skank decided to disrupt Our fun.  This foul skin cancer candidate piece of garbage was completely ridiculous all night long – hanging all over every piglet in there, being disrespectful to all of the cool chicks, bending her nasty old leathery ass over in a miniskirt and making everyone gag up their cocktails by putting her roastbeef pussy on display. 

It was truly the most disgusting thing I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing.  For the love of Goddess – Females should NOT act like that!!

I have little tolerance for idiots – but as most of you fuckers know, I’m too busy having it My Way to even notice you. 

But then the trash hole decided she was going to grab My friend, nearly choking Her.

I’ll always try to treat what appears to be a woman with respect at first.  So I asked the whorebag to refrain from her drunken idiocy.  She paused for about 5 minutes and started to fuck with My friend again.

Then I asked her “friend” to get the drunken fuckup under control.

Ahhhh… even her “friend” couldn’t talk sense into it.  Miss ground burger twat decided that she was going to continue.  Now decides she’s got the liquid courage and the backing of her rich dentist hubby to put her nasty fucking hands on Me….

Let this be a lesson to all of you – manpig and disrespecting female alike – No ONE but NO ONE touches Me without express invitation from My Gorgeous Lips.

I grabbed the stupid little whore’s face and pushed her away from Me so hard that she fell to the ground.  Don’t forget that I’m EXTREMELY tall.  I tower over almost everyone I know, and in heels, I am a complete Giantess.

Alas, roastbeef got up a second time and came back for more.

So I put My Hand around her throat, squeezed until she began to choke, looked her right in the face and said…

“The third time won’t be fun. I will fuck you up beyond recognition.”

Then I threw her to the ground again.

I guess she believed Me at that point, as she crawled over to her rich ol’ dentist mini-macho fuckstick of a husband……..

But then THAT little maggot decides to disrespect Me by standing about 5 feet away from Me, flipping Me off.

Oh puh-lease.  Do you really think I’m going to break a nail on that?!  I don’t think so….The Queen simply demands that others do the dirty work for Her….

And most of the time – I need not even ask.  Others just DO for Me, as in this instance.

So 5 monkeyboys and TWO Females (that I don’t even KNOW) decide that both of the nasty pieces of shit need their asses kicked.  Needless to say, roastbeef and her richy rich tooth-drilling hubby got BOTH of their sagging wrinkled bottoms kicked all the way out of the door and onto the street.

I heard alot of screaming and whatnot…..but I was too busy at that point sipping My Sangria while a crowd gathered around Me telling Me how they loved watching the skank that had ALSO been ruining their night get slammed by the Queen.

Needless to say, I got a roaring ovation (I mean people were truly clapping and screaming…).

Rather amusing if I do say so Myself.

I suspect roastbeef will be dreaming about Me for a loooooooong time….

Don’t you ALL? hehehe….

12 Steps To Creating A Living Sculpture (A Freaky Masterpiece!)

Step One:
Sit back, relax and let the guinea pigs line up.  Choose the one You think has the most moula and potential for amusing You.

Step Two:
Make sure they are reeeeally braindead – yet prepared.  A guinea pig who shows up with nothing is boring.

Step Three:
Make sure the pigfuck has a webcam.  Allow the maggot to turn on his webcam.  Screenshots are a must for documenting the progression of Your Living Sculpture. 

Step Four:
Allow the evil juices to flow through Your Pretty Head. Hold no deviant thought back.  Release them all with full force onto Your work.  Remember, experimentation is fun and the Artiste is ALWAYS RIGHT!

Step Five:
Begin the artistic transformation.  Duct tape the guinea pig’s head so that You don’t have to look at their hideous face.  Make the guinea pig write demeaning words such as “fat cunt” across it’s hairy grotesque manboobies and lard gut. 



Step Six:
Make the guinea pig stick not one, not two, but all 25 suppositories up inside of it’s anal cavity!  Be sure You make the guinea pig squeeze it’s nasty cheeks together so no suppositories fall out before Step Nine.

Step Seven:
Put Yourself into Your work.  For example, if You are currently bleeding, decorate the artpiece with tampons.  They are beautiful AND biodegradable!

Step Eight:
Take a moment to observe Your progress.  Make it do a little jig for shits (literally) and giggles!

Step Nine:
Art is as powerful on the inside as it is on the exterior.  Make the subject wrap it’s ass up with saran wrap and duct tape to insure the 25 suppositories are doing the harder work for You!

Step Ten:
Observe Your work again.  Leave no hole uncovered!

Step Eleven:
Detail is everything!  Take great care in applying the final touches to Your Living Sculpture.  The Feminine in all things is Supreme!  Laugh at your GREATNESS – You’ve made something FANTASTICALLY BIZARRE!!!

Step Twelve:
Your work MUST speak for itself. To truly make a statement, make the guinea pig shake up the suppositories inside by bending it over and over.  When it screams “i’m going to puke!! i’m going to shit!!” and then proceeds to do so all over itself, it is then You know that You have truly created a MASTERPIECE!!! 


the fed ex boy is MINE!

This week’s little exchange with My little delivery boy…..who I think needs a serious spanking on that luscious little bottom of his….

fed ex boy (with eyes looking down, delivering My packages): “you sure keep me in a job… ” *nervous laughter*

Thee Queen Bee (with Her Signature Smirk): “I do loooove to keep the boys working hard for Me…”

Ahhhhh…….I’ll have this one waxing My car by the end of the month. =P

Anyhoo….I’m here waiting for My fantastic new Bravia flat panel plasma to be delivered and installed, and thought I’d pop in to update you all on how rotten I’ve been….hehehehe! 

Onto Goddess’ goodies:

So I’m completely redecorating My bathroom with a mermaid/siren theme (fitting for the Siren of all sailor boys, don’t you think? hehehehe) and here are some of the things I’ve had My broken mustang get:

This is such a beautiful sculpture! Note how all of the little fishies are born from Her. I really adore this piece…

Then I got this for over the door:

I really adore this one, it’s a little brighter and vivid….I wonder who’s dreams She happens to be gazing into, ponybaby?…..hehehehe

There are more Siren goodies on the way….I think’s it all on backorder or something……..

Then I got some gorgeous silver jewelry………I just love silver! And gemstones…..mmmm. I have a secret little shoppe in the Phillipines I discovered that handcrafts the most exquisite silver gemstone jewelry.

I took a quick webcam snap of My new favorite pendant from them – ponybaby did great on this one, I really LOVE it!:

The great thing about this pendant is that it is also gorgeous and ornate on the back…….those Phillipines are true craftspeople! I didn’t snap a pic though..maybe later.

Here’s another REALLY beautiful and unique necklace mustang got Me:

You can’t tell by this photo, but this is actually a sort of puzzle necklace.  It changes into a completely different necklace, but you have to figure it out.

One of the things I love about Celtic culture is the utilization of riddles and puzzles in their folklore and artistry. I have a Celtic box (I just LOVE ornate and decorative boxes and such!) that noone can open!  I love making them try…..and struggle.

And…………then mustang purchased My sweet Strat - the Mother of  Electric Guitars…..a Fender Stratocaster – It’s the Eric Clapton signature one….and I just died when I plugged it in. As some of you little voyeurs might have guessed, I’m a musician.

Oh, and I do sing the Siren song that made Ulysses tie himself to the mast…..sometimes like a sporadic soft rain that makes the sailor boys jump into the sea just to drown in the water of Me, sometimes like a thunderstorm wherein My lightning strikes them straight to that deep sleep….

Here’s My sweet Strat:

I also got some more music gear:

$300+ music software that is sooooooooooo awesome…..

And an super cool effects processor for guitar and voice…..

 

That’s all for now.  Ciao bitches!

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