Who’s Your Mommy……?!

On this day of brunching with your birth canal…remember that she doesn’t matter anymore.

You see, I’m your Mommy now.  I instruct you, I nourish you and I always know best.

I’m sure you want to visit Mommy’s WANTlists and buy Her a nice present - but they are all cleared out by Mommy’s best little birdy.  The rest of you will have to jump a little quicker next time.  But today, proper tributes to Mommy Dearest will be accepted.

Remember this as well…

A Special Message From Above

Myspace and MORE MONEY!

To the cunt shoes who got My Myspace account deleted:

When you least expect it sweet tits…….

And in other news, I’m taking loads and loads of your dorky dough! You little losers have kept Me so busy in the last week or so, I haven’t even had time to write here!  You’re loving My new videos aren’t you??

So…..I spent $2500 on My credit card that tiny sent!!!  New spring clothes and shoes - I do LOVE to shop!  tiny has stopped crying and started accepting his path of ETERNAL chastity.  THANK FUCK!  I was starting to get really really annoyed.

Got $1000 out of truebornVirginMaryDefiler……..hahahaha - you are sooooooooooooo easy you catholic dork!  You’ll do anything I say!  I especially love it when you start stuttering……….WHOO!  I know it’s over then!

A newbie named docile24 came out of the woods with his slooooow dialup connection and sent $300 or so.  Then he went out and bought a pack of Marlboro Menthol Lights and pretended he was My ashtray!  He just loved the Ashtray Shopping Piggie recording so much!

I’m currently ignoring ginger until she answers My expensive question.

That cumwhipper guy stopped by again for a phone chat.  I don’t know if you all have ever heard or seen about this fellow, but trust Me - it’s nasty, but damn does it make Me laugh and feel especially evil.  The dorko whips his jizz up like a merengue and eats it.  Yep, that’s his fetish.  Sometimes he eats it with a bib and a baby spoon.  And the most disturbing part of it is that he eats other men’s too!!!  Yep, he’s tasted a couple of others.

And then when I suggested that I make him famous with a 30 Days of 30 Different Dude jizz whipping event, he declined on the note of safety!!! WAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!  AIDS????  You eat Parfait Cum Cups from strangers anyway???????  EEWWWWW!!!!!!!!

I’ll still get him to do it though……..because quite frankly I know he really wants to.  Don’t ya???? Vroom vroom!!! Dremel in motion!

I now have 5 blackmail applications completely filled out and verified.  jason, michael, don, steve r, steve b, and nathan - you best be hard at work.  I intend to take so much, you’ll fucking wish you were never so stupid.