Bootgasm

Yes…I do believe I just had one. Mmmnn.  The first shipment of fall boots came in and I just got done trying them all on.  In My bedroom.  Where you’re not allowed.

I might take pictures of them later…a little peek.  Maybe a video.

My summer travels were fantastic, interesting and memorable.  I bought a new riding crop in late July. It now looks like I’ve owned it for 10 years.  Tears for breakfast.

I think it’s pretty obvious…but if you’re one of the incompetent horde that continues to message Me and can’t quite grasp what My silence means, I’ll spell it out for you….

I’ve deemed you useless.  In every way.  Thereby rendering you disadvantageous
to Me and ultimately, nonexistent.

With that said, I will be turning the phone line on this week and fucking with your brains will be My pleasure.

Sayonara babies…

 

Who’s Your Mommy……?!

On this day of brunching with your birth canal…remember that she doesn’t matter anymore.

You see, I’m your Mommy now.  I instruct you, I nourish you and I always know best.

I’m sure you want to visit Mommy’s WANTlists and buy Her a nice present - but they are all cleared out by Mommy’s best little birdy.  The rest of you will have to jump a little quicker next time.  But today, proper tributes to Mommy Dearest will be accepted.

Remember this as well…

Dear Goddess,

I get these kind of emails all the time, and for the most part I ignore them.  For whatever reason I decided to reply to this one a moment ago and thought the result was amusing. =)

The email:

Dear Goddess,
I would like to serve you, but I’m afraid that I am not worthy or wealthy enough.  You are the most amazing Dominant Woman I have ever laid eyes on. I see you take so much from your slaves and I’m afraid that I’d lose My entire savings to you. But I can’t stop looking at your site and your pictures.  I’m obsessed with you.  I’m at work right now, and I should be working but I can’t stop thinking about you.  I don’t know what to do.  Please tell me what to do.

My reply:

boy,
See if you can follow.  I’ve made it really easy for your mushy little mind to comprehend.

1. You don’t “lose” anything to Me - you simply give to Me what is rightfully Mine.
2. You’re definitely NOT worthy.  Your life ONLY has purpose IF you become My slave and please Me in said coveted position.
3. You’re probably NOT wealthy enough to be of much interest to Me - however, I’ll thoroughly enjoy taking everything you’ve got and then some.  And I will get whatever I want from you. 
4. What you get to do is go into the bathroom at your office and piss on yourself.  You may then return to you desk and send Me $500 for that privilege.

The result:

Oh yeah, I got $900 from My birdy today too.  But that’s not ALL!!!!!

I also got another one of these from him:

I’ll put up the rest later…..I’m getting goodies delivered right now!!!
 

So they wonder…

I had a lump of yuck recently ask Me if I enjoyed making boys fatter, uglier, wimpier…etc.  First of all, it sent it’s photo along with it’s email (how the camera did not shatter into a trillion pieces I know not) and I wondered, “Could it really get any WORSE than that?!”
I mean, this nasty of nasties is one step away from full on Jaba the Hutt.

After the acidic disgust subsided, I actually pondered the question.  I assume jaba inquired due to what I’ve been inflicting on lardbelly aka the human garbage disposal.  I didn’t bother to ever answer jaba directly, but I thought it would be a good topic to write about.

So the answer to the question is….depends, huh what? and, YES! 

1. If the pigfuck is chunky, he’s not that productive.  Lazy slaves are worthless to Me.  If anything, I’d choose to whip their asses into something useful. However, sometimes one comes along that is particularly amusing (like lardbelly) and well, My sadism says, “Stuff the cunt full o’ Twinkies and isolate him from the last shred of his self esteem.” 

2. Uglier?  How is that possible?  If you’re ugly, you’re pretty much ugly.  Mother Nature got to you first and although She and I are often in cahoots on many a project, She’s done all the hard work for Me.  I simply get to use it as a tool.

3. But wimpier….oh yeeeeessssssss!  Machisimo has no place in My world.  It is not necessary to be productive.  In fact, it rather distracts them from the most important part of life - Me.  I like a “yes” boy.  I like turning macho boys into yes boys.  Breaking them down is easy.  I even like a challenge - because let’s just face it, I never lose.

So what it all really boils down to is mood.  Most boys are uni-dimensional.  I am a multi-faceted gem.  That’s why a Girl must possess MANY slaves.   So that on any given day, with any given mood - I can pick over My Hive and say,”You.  You there.  Crawl over here.  Goddess wants to play.”

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